Be careful what you wish for
by Crazy8ball
Summary: Puck finds a mysterious bottle while cleaning the garage, how was he supposed to know there was a genie inside? AU-genie!Rachel... T for swearing
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: This is rather AU but, the plot bunny landed and wouldn't leave. Basically, take Rachel out of season 1 and you've got your cannon. Basically AU on S2 as well (because I've seen like 2 episodes ;) so, read and review at will._

_Crazy..._

Chapter One

Rachel Berry had been a Star.

The Darling of Broadway.

Then, she'd fallen in love.

That's when she'd been forced into the shackles. She'd been a slave to the Puckerman men for nearly one hundred years, ever since she'd met Isaiah Puckerman in 1918 on Broadway and he'd tricked her into the bottle.

He'd used her up and spat her into the neck of the bottle, trapping her inside using her to secure that his line would always bare a male that they would go on. Consequently, this saw her passed from father to son when the latter came of age.

Nevertheless, in this bottle she sat, year after year, never changing, always at the mercy of the next bastard Isaiah's line had spawned.

* * *

His mother was mad at him.

Like the, 'I'm going to make sure you're too busy to even think about sex or enjoy the summer', kind of mad at him.

He did, after all, sleep with his best friend's girl, get said girl pregnant, lie, then move her into their house, then let her leave...although... he was pretty sure what had pissed his mother off most was the fact that she'd not gotten to meet Beth before the tiny babe had been adopted out.

So he was in trouble.

Stuck in the garage, the weekend before school started, ridding the house of the last of Ethan Puckerman's belongings. Things that had escaped his and his mother's attention over the years, from books, to trophies... even his father's old letterman jacket which sat across his lap as he delved into a box labelled _For Noah, from Dad._

Dad... just the word sent a surge of anger coursing through him, not just directed at the deadbeat who'd walked out all those years previous, but to himself, for leaving his baby girl, granted; he hadn't _wanted_ to... it didn't stop him feeling like he'd done the same thing his father had done to his family.

This shit sucked.

A small wooden box, not even the size of his hand, caught his eye, reaching down past the guitar picks, bundles of letters and the other odds and ends he wrapped his fingers around it, frowning at the tiny surge of electricity that surged up his arm at contact.

* * *

Rachel lay, sprawled on her bed, the impending sense that something, something was about to change bringing a triumphant smile to her lips.

Oh, she was getting out of here, one way or another.

* * *

Easing open the box, he frowned at the tiny green and gold class perfume bottle he found therein, perfume, why was his father leaving him a perfume bottle? Hmmm, maybe he could give it to San, get the Puckerone back in her good books... or hell, even his mother, get him out of his mothers imposed jail.

One could only hope.

Lifting the bottle from the box he uncapped it, as he leant down to sniff the contents, a plume of smoke rose up from the bottle, filling the air around him; flinging himself backward he watched as the smoke began to solidify into the form of a teenage girl.

He frowned, had he hit his head at some stage? Inhaled something he wasn't aware of?

"What the fuck are you?" he spluttered as the girl's eyes narrowed at the crassness of his tone, "What. The. Fuck?"

She smiled at him, smiled at him in such a way he almost forgot she was like the smoke monster on Lost...

"My name's Rachel Berry." She said, the 100 watt smile not leaving her lips, "I'm a genie."


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Just a short one this time. Trying to make sure I get the tone right. Hope you enjoy, will post more when I figure out what to do for Puck's wishes. (any ideas are always welcome :) )_

Chapter Two

"A genie?" he spluttered, "What?"

"You know, you wish, I grant it..."

"I must be dreaming."

"Didn't your Dad tell you?" she asked, her smile fading, eyebrows drawing together as he shook his head, "Damnit all to hell."

"So, you can grant wishes?"

"That is what a genie does..." she trailed off, studying him for a moment, "Noah, right?" he nodded, "You get three wishes. One, two, three, I go back into my bottle and you pass it on to your first born son."

He stood up, the bottle and its case still in his hand, "There's a party tonight. I'm sneaking out, you wanna come?"

Rachel frowned, "Don't you want to talk about this?" she asked, "Discuss the rules?"

"Babe." He said, his hand resting on his shoulder, "I'm not entirely sure I'm awake... if I am... I'm sure we've got time."

She smiled, following him out of the garage, "Noah?" she asked, "Were you supposed to be tidying the garage?"

He shrugged, "Ma'll get over it."

Turning back to the clutter she blinked, smiling as all it all slid into neat piles, boxes lined up against the walls, "Berry?"

Puck's voice cut across her momentary satisfaction, "What the hell?" he looked down at her, then to the garage, then back to her again, "You did this?"

She smiled primly, "You should always do your chores Noah. Do what you can for your parents."

"Parent." He cut in, "As in, one. My mother."

"Ethan-" she trailed off, momentarily saddened by the thought that one of her kinder masters had died, "he died?"

"He's a deadbeat. Disappeared about ten years back. Haven't seen him since. Arsehole."

Rachel frowned, things had certainly gone downhill in the past ten years.

"So," he said as they sat on the couch in the living room, "what are the rules?"

"I thought you said it could wait?" she asked, pulling her legs up underneath her, "That you weren't sure if you were awake or not?"

His lips curled up into a smile, "Changed my mind. Eyes wide open and all that shit."

She grinned, "Alright. You get three wishes." She was lying though her teeth, hoping desperately he couldn't tell, "I can't make anyone fall in love with you. I can't bring anyone back from the dead and, most important, "There's no wishing for more wishes."

He frowned, mulling it over for a moment, "Yeah, okay... sounds like fun."

The front door opened and in breezed Puck's Mum and little sister, the former stopping in the doorway, "Noah-" she spotted Rachel on the couch, "What's going on here?"

Puck floundered, how did he tell his mum that he'd found a genie in the garage? That his deadbeat father had known about her all this time and never told them? How-

"My name's Rachel Berry, ma'am." The genie ventured, hopping off the couch to greet his mother, "My parents are out of town for the month and, your Noah, believing it not safe for me to stay alone, was kind enough to offer me a place to stay. " she paused, watching the other woman's reactions, shock, anger and confusion all seemed to settle on Debbie Puckerman's face at once, "I take it he mentioned none of this to you, correct?"

Debbie nodded mutely, motioning for Puck to follow her she said, "It's nice to meet you Rachel." Before grabbing her son's ear and dragging him into the kitchen.

"She's not pregnant is she?" Debbie demanded, her eyes narrowing as she waited for an answer.

"Ma!" he cried, exasperation colouring his tone, "When, when this Summer would I have had _time_ to get a girl pregnant?"

"Believe you me Noah Elijah, your reputation in this town proceeds you." She sighed as a slight smirk crossed his features, smacking him upside the head she added, "Whoring is _nothing_ to be proud of. What kind of nice Jewish girl's going to want to marry you after the whole Quinn fiasco?"

He drew a breath, momentarily stung by his mother's words, calling his daughter, his Beth, a fiasco...then, a lie he was sure would come in handy time and time again until he'd wished all his wishes developed in his mind, "Did I tell you Ma, Berry's a Jew as well?"


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Hi! Me again! Puck's first wish is unveiled in this one. It's short, but I hope you like it anyways :)_

_R&R at will.  
Crazy..._

Chapter Three

She'd spent the whole day, the whole damn day, confined to her bottle and the house, Puck's rationale? He'd have enough to deal with without having to make sure she didn't act like a fruitloop and scare all his friends away.

A fruit loop! How dare he compare her to a breakfast cereal!

Just because she'd cleaned his room, ran his mother a bath, did the dishes and cleaned the floor; yes, she was the first one to admit that maybe she was a little excessive, but Puck and his sister had done _nothing_ the entire weekend.

What else was she supposed to do?

"_Sit down, shut up and do what you're told with a smile, Rachel. I don't need you for anything else."_

She trembled at the memory, _Isaiah Puckerman's hands hot on her flesh, he'd come home stinking drunk, opened her bottle and shoved her on the bed, ordering her to sit still, do as she was told. He'd been fired from his job at the theatre._

" '_s all your fucking fault." He slurred, "They think I had something to do with you disappearing."_

"_You did though! You practically kidnapped me!"_

_He stalked forward, shoving her down roughly, "You loved me. You set me free-"_

_Rachel reared up, her frustration at being held captive exploding from deep within her belly, "You seduced me! Tricked me! How could I ever love someone as loathsome as you?"_

_He sneered at her, "Guess what Princess? You're stuck with me now. I wish for money. Power..."There was a cold, calculating look in his eyes as he added, "And I want the world to forget about Rachel Berry. Now-"_

"Berry."

_She'd been so scared, lying there, his breath hot on her neck. He'd been so __**angry**__, nothing like the man she'd fallen for._

"Berry!" She blinked up at him owlishly, "You okay babe?"

"I'm sorry Noah. I was just... reminiscing."

He ran his hand over his scalp, "You sure? I was calling ya for like, five minutes."

"I'm sure Noah. Perfectly fine." She smiled winningly, "Was there something you wanted?"

"I googled you today." He said with a shrug, "Not genies. But you. It was pretty epic when you went missing. There were like searches and stuff. You were missed."

"Googling?" she asked, barely hiding the pain at the mention of people missing her.

"Never mind." He said. Pausing for a moment, he said, "Let's have sex."

"What?" she gasped.

He was standing at the couch now, looming over her, "Why not?"

"It's highly inappropriate!" she shrieked, "Not to mention, I don't know you!" she paused, "And I had sex with your great grandfather! And your grandfather! Highly inappropriate indeed!"

"Babe, that just shows the Puckerone's got good taste." He reasoned, "Besides, I've had a shitty day. You have to do what I say, why can't I utilise that?"

"I'm surprised you know what utilised means! And...and... I'm not a sex toy!"

"But I'm hot. You're hot!"

"All I'm hearing is you're horny and I'm a female!" she glowered, getting to her feet and crossing her arms defensivly over her chest, "That's not a valid reason for two people to have relations with one another. So, no!"

Puck got a wicked gleam in his eye, one that made her feel like she was sixteen and trapped under Isaiah Puckerman once again, "I wish-"

She raised a finger, pointing at him angrily, "The next words out of your mouth had better not be to have sex with you." She warned, "If you're going to be morally reprehensible, you can at least do it politely!"

He folded his arms across his chest, mirroring her pose, he figured morally reprehensible was bad, and he knew what polite meant... he had to ask nicely... "I wish you'd sleep with me."

It was Rachel's turn to smirk as she lay back down on the couch, not her fault if he couldn't spot the loophole, "Yes Master." She purred.

Puck leaned down to kiss her as she blinked, his wish being granted.

Debbie Puckerman found them an hour later, sound asleep on the couch, the small girl sleeping peacefully in her son's arms.

Maybe there was hope for him yet.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

It was dark when Puck woke up he frowned at his surroundings, he was still clothed... what? Sitting up he saw the genie, her figure slumped on the edge of the couch, head in her hands, shoulders shaking as she sobbed.

"I'm not your whore Noah. "she whispered brokenly, "I'm not something you can just trot out when you're horny. I have feelings you know."

He reached out his hand stopping just short of grasping her shoulder, God he felt like an ass, "I know." He whispered.

She whipped around, her eyes red with crying, "Don't touch me!" she snarled, scooting away from him.

"We didn't have sex." He mumbled.

"Thank you Captain Obvious." She snapped, "You made a wish. A stupid, selfish wish. Without considering the consequences beyond the end of your dick. Can I tell you something?"

"What?" he asked, fingers curling into a fist.

"You say you don't want to be like your father but Ethan, Ethan was the only one of your relatives not to abuse his position. You're just like your great grandfather. You're a monster."

Puck flinched, the girl's words stinging him more than he could have expected, "I'm...sorry." The words sounded foreign to him, but he knew, in that instant, he meant it.

The hallway light flicked on, Debbie Puckerman filling the doorway, "Kids? You're still up? It's a school night. Up to your rooms."

Puck got up so fast it was like he'd been burned, "Night Ma, Berry."

Silence fell over the lounge room, the two women listening to Puck's heavy footfalls as he disappeared upstairs.

"You know," Debbie said conversationally, "it's amazing how you haven't aged in ten years."

Rachel whipped around, "I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about."

Debbie laughed mirthlessly, "I remember Ethan bringing you home when Noah was about seven. You stayed for about...a month I think it was. I was pregnant with Bekah. It was right before Ethan ran off."

"I-"

"Don't insult my intelligence Rachel. For someone as old as I think you are, you're a shitty liar."

Rachel frowned, "So, you know what I am? A genie?"

"Ethan mentioned it, I'm sure. I would have thought he'd take you with him."

Rachel smiled, softly, "I think he wanted to make sure you'd be looked after eventually."

Debbie Puckerman regarded the genie for a moment, chewing on her bottom lip thoughtfully, "I know my son's an ass. He means well just, just... don't hurt him, please?"

_A/N: So, I had my angst on, just a little bit. Rediscovering my muse, Puck's next wish'll be up soon._


End file.
